I can die happy now.

I can't say to much yet, for I am still under the spell of the night. But it involves David Sedaris asking me to slap him in front of a large crowd of people and a jar of New Mexico green chili. It was so personal, magical and I can't wait to tell ya'll the whole story. Stay tuned...

I feel really small...in a good way.

Breathtaking.

we're having a fabulous time <3

And now onwards....

Flagstaff, AZ

We finally arrived in Arizona last night, around 7pm. The drive was LONG but not treacherous. Most of the California part I'd seen before on other road trips to Vegas. So visually that leg was boring but the boy and I kept entertained with some good tunes and great conversation. I always feel good about us when we take long drives. Even after all these years, I'm still surprised at how easily we can just be with each other for long periods of time. Don't get me wrong, he annoys the shit out of me sometimes---but there really isn't anyone else I'd rather spend my days alongside. <3 Our car talk has the charm and timing of a first month couple but the care and comfort of seven years strong. We're still really interested in each other and listen carefully but then one of us will toot in the car and we can laugh about it. On to the next adventure. I will say the only one who's tooted so far this car ride was THE DOG!!! oooooh nothing quite as stinky as a pooch toot. 

But that wasn't the end of our doggie adventures. It can be recorded, Fiona and I experienced our first snow in Flagstaff, Arizona. It's true, I've never really seen snow, let alone touched it. As we got higher and higher in elevation, the air became quite cold and we began to see small patches of snow on the ground. After we road into town, the boy pulled over in a nearby shopping center so we could see the snow that had piled up and been shoveled to the sides. Of course like a consummate Californian I get out of the car in flip flops, but quickly changed into real shoes.

 It was very cool in a state-of-being sense of the word, and felt like a Slurpee. The dog was not really having it. She kept picking up her back legs to somehow keep from getting cold or wet. It was quite hilarious. I didn't even give birth to her and she's still so much like me: shocked at the site of real weather and a total city girl. 

On the agenda for today : The Grand Canyon, much marveling, and dinner at Salsa Brava, featured

                                          on Food Network's Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.

my first snow was in front of a ROSS dress for less. lol

Into the Great wiiiiide open, 3 rebels withouuut a clue.....

Never been to Arizona or New Mexico. Never traveled with a pet.

Here we go....

Whatever Lady.

I went to the library yesterday. And to be honest, I hadn't been to a library in....years. I can't even remember how long its been. I walked in slowly and carefully, as if the building was condemned and the roof could cave at any moment. It was almost everything that I remembered : a main book drop, a computer keyboard instead of the sharp stump of a date stamp and the type of quite that is maintained and reserved...protected even. Looking up at the skylight and rows and rows of books, " I forgot how cool this was..." I muddled under my breath.

I had to get a library card, which seemed like a novel idea. Only now they come in key chain form. As the clerk began to explain, "the IMPORTANCE! of a library card and to treat it like I would a credit card," my eyes drifted to a rolling metal cart behind her. Suddenly I was a distracted twelve year old, the person I used to be in libraries. Hanging off the end of the cart was a bright orange laminated sign. "JUVIE BOOKS," it read. Quickly I began to imagine a Shawshank scene, with some troubled teen wheeling the cart. And everyone was young, even the old man with the bird, standing under a sun drenched window. "SOMEONE COULD TAKE OUT MILLIONS OF BOOKS IN YOUR NAME!!" the clerk stammered. Her eyes drawing me back. "What a scandal that would be," I said calmly. Rolling my lips up to a fold, smiling gently, I thanked her and set off to begin my journey.

Surprisingly, I was quickly successful in locating the books I came to get. I remembered feeling daunted as a kid with the same task, thumbing through actual paper card catalogues. But it was all very accessible and easy: computer generated and online. It felt like one of those candied moments where you have to remind yourself, "Oh yeah I'm an adult now...not everything has to be so hard." However, effortless as it was, I still found myself at the information desk. "I can't seem to find a book, and I think this branch may not carry it." I approached the actual librarian. "What book are you looking for?" she asked. "Mildred Pierce, by James Cain." and she flashed a look directly at me. "OH OF COURSE! because of THE MOVIE!" she said in a demeaning tone. "Everyone's only interested in that book because of that silly mini-series on TV. Ugh, well we don't have it here and its out at every other branch because everyone is watching that MOVIE." she continued. And I have to say I felt just a tad judged. I mean whats it to her? Yeah of course I'm enjoying a Kate Winslet mini-series on HBO. Who wouldn't for Christ's sake? She's only my favorite actress on the whole fucking planet! And its not just t.v., its HBO damn it!! Plus I've always wanted to read this book and the enjoying the movie is the perfect excuse to get off my butt and finally do it. Jeeeeeez my first day back and I'm already ready to rumble with the librarian! "WELL! anything that encourages people to read or to pick up a book instead of a remote sounds like a pretty good idea to me." and with my chin up high I flashed my key chain library card and glided out the door.

Screw this, I thought. I'll just buy the damn book. And off to Barnes and Noble I went. Of course as I pulled up to the shelf, there was only one copy of the book....and it had the mini-series movie poster as the cover. [NOW a major motion picture, staring Kate Winslet.] "Damn it." I mumbled to myself. Looking to the left and right of me, I grabbed the book. Cover facing my chest, I proceeded to the checkout counter.

because his kiss, his kiss is on my list

I'm pretty big on lists, especially when it comes to travel preparation. For our New Mexico road trip, I made a general list of things both myself and the boy would need to bring. I then gave him the list and asked him to add anything I may have left out. Obviously his writing is much messier than mine and in purple. While going over his additions, I noticed the Austin Powers nod. What a nerd. One thing I love about the boy is that he makes me laugh everyday. Seriously there have been days when funerals were attended....and he still managed it. Its truly a gift  that I feel so blessed to be a part of, a guaranteed laugh everyday. <3

I'm just gonna say it

I might be to fat to yoga. I've had a mat and DVD I borrowed from a friend, for eons. Today I finally decided to crack it. Had my little big girl tank, yoga pants and even a bad ass headband. "Finally! I get to use my yoga pants for actual yoga!" I thought.  After trying three sections of the video, I lay on my back defeated, in broken snow angel pose. "I hate you ceiling," I exhale.  

Holy shit how do people do this? How is someone like me supposed to do this? How am I supposed to sit on my knees, in "child pose," and breathe at the same time? My arms outstretched in front of me, I can feel my face getting red as i struggle to breathe. My neck feels tight and tweaked. "wait. let me get my-----ahhhhhhh." Roll out = air....but not....quite....enough. This isn't gonna work. My knees, my joints-----ouch! And with some of these arms stretched behind you, interlocking finger doosies, I almost feel the need for a spotter. I mean rolls equal resistance! DVD instructor lady. Don't you know that? And all my weight on my ankles? Are you kidding me? I look like a cow trying to plié.  >>INSERT<< very long defeated-couch-sigh here. 

To be honest, I always wanted to be the stretchy type but was to afraid I'd screw it up by sucking so bad or worse : a pressure fart. You know the kind, when you're moving furniture and you need all your body strength to PUUUSH! and you push alright, a big ripper. Fart or not, at least I'd still be able to yoga. At this point I couldn't get my Asana in gear even if I wanted too. 

But I'm not giving up. According to my research, Plus Size Yoga is a very new trend, so new its no where to be found. Except at the library. Tomorrow I'm marching my bigness over to rent a DVD, YOGA : Just my size. Hopefully it'll feel better than an 18 hour bra. Namaste-not-so-much.

Figurine from Eastern Serenity

OFF THE HOOK

I am so freakin excited. At the end of this month, the boy, the pooch and myself are taking a road trip. We're driving to The Grand Canyon, through Arizona and into New Mexico. We're going to be visiting friends in Albuquerque. I'm excited and nervous to travel with the baby (the dog), and love that neither of us have ever been to New Mexico. So it'll be a new adventure to share <3 I'm also looking forward to seeing The Grand Canyon. I feel really in the mood to marvel at something --- not in an EAT~PRAY~LOVE  way (hated that movie)  but in my heart's in a good place way and I'd love to feel it get a bit bigger....just at the sight of something. 

Also, we just booked our tickets to see David Sedaris LIVE at The University of New Mexico. I can hardly contain my nerd right now. I love David Sedaris. He is my most favorite writer in all the world : more than Rilke or William Carlos Williams or Neruda or Shakespeare---yes I know what Im saying.  If I were a man or had to be, I'd want to be David Sedaris. Actually I'd like to be him either way if at all possible. He's so incredibly witty and funny and sardonic....siiiiiiigh (hand to forehead). I heart him to death. This will be my second time seeing him and I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!!  Last time he signed my copy of ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY, and said that he lived in my shadow. One can only hope to be so lucky twice. 

PreMenstrual Monster

After a stupid argument with the boy, Im sitting at command post (kitchen table) alone and he's taking a mental nap.

Does anyone know the effects of alcohol on PMS? I'm thinking it sounds a little something like the Buena Vista Social Club and tastes a little something like.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh **hiccup**